Insomnia 02:37am

My neck has been extremely sore for the past six days. A few of those days were down right miserable. I skipped one ride shift and one day of work at the ambulance company in hope that I would be feeling better for my next regular shift at the firehouse. Tonight I tried to get some sleep at the station, and I was again unsuccessful. I cannot find a position which does not bother my neck. Couple this recent problem with my predisposition to insomnia at work, the rock like bed I have to sleep on, the fire & ems radios blaring throughout the firehouse, and the extremes of temperature people set the thermostat, it is a wonder that I ever sleep at work.

I might have to cancel on tomorrow’s ride time also. I made a personal commitment that I would not go to work (at my part-time jobs) if I got less than four hours of sleep. Since most of my jobs are on a ambulance, this makes sense. I would not want anyone working on me if they have less than four hours of sleep. I have around 143 hours to complete for ride time. If I do not go tomorrow, I will not be finished until the end of November. I really want all of this paramedic crap to be finished. In my sleep deprived state, I wonder why am I continuing this torture? Why can’t I just quit paramedic, walk away and be happy? The only thing worth while is I might get a $5/hr raise at a part time job. I gain nothing at my full time job. Some days I feel like I have wasted two years.

Maybe it has not been a waste of time, I won’t know until I make attempts at the test. I am just being selfish. I want more time to do the things I enjoy, like seeing my wife, walking my dogs, playing games, sleeping at home (the only place I get sleep), photography, amature radio, drumming (good grief I have too many hobbies), hiking, climbing/rappelling and anything else that tickles my fancy (not to mention flying).


About Joel

I am a paramedic, firefighter and I work for an organ procurement organization. All stories related to work have been altered to HIPPA standards and for the protection of those involved. The personal stories are different. Photography, flying, aviation, hiking, camping, travel, geocaching, amateur radio are a few of my hobbies.
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One Response to Insomnia 02:37am

  1. Amanda says:

    You are too good to walk away. You deserve your numbers!! Never forget how proud I am of you.Love your beloved dog’s mom

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